I was the Best Man in a Cambodian wedding ceremony last weekend. If you’re not familiar with such things, the schedule went like this: Friday was several hours of sitting on the floor, in a suit, while Buddhist monks chanted to bless the marriage. Saturday was arriving at 8 am to spend the better part of 6 hours being shuttled from room to room to take part in no less than half a dozen ceremonies. Most ceremonies involved sitting on the floor or standing, in a different suit, while a ton of people I didn’t know talked in Cambodian. Saturday night involved a 6 hour reception, at Harvest Moon, with a third of it taken up by greeting 500 people I didn’t know while standing around in a tuxedo. Top that off with a 9 course Chinese dinner Thursday night at China Garden, hosted by the groom’s mom, and you have the makes of a long weekend.
What struck me most about the proceedings were the “unscheduled” nature of everything. I didn’t get a rough schedule of the weekend until like a week before and even then it was roundabout times. I didn’t know what time I had to show up Saturday morning until Friday night and that was only after the groom asked like four different people. The rigidity we’re used to in western ceremonies is most definitely absent from Cambodian ones and since it took place at the bride’s house, people just came and went as they pleased to see different parts. The reception invitation stated 6:30 pm; I was the (very!) first to arrive at 6 pm and after my family arrived ~6:30, I was informed most Cambodians wouldn’t show up until ~7:30 so things wouldn’t start until 8 pm. The entire weekend was more of a house party, with after hours at a restaurant, that happened to also include a lengthy and storied wedding ceremony. (Be sure to check out the link if you’re curious about all the things we did.)
The groom is half Chinese, half Caucasian and the bride is Cambodian and Chinese, so I was one of a handful of non-asian people present. As such, I was afforded an opportunity to see how other cultures celebrate that many in this country may not ever have. I’m glad I got to participate in such a culturally rich event, even if it doesn’t really seem that way. I think I would have enjoyed it a lot more were most of it not held in a room that’s effectively a concrete slab with few throw rugs and no air conditioning. It was opressively hot (I spent a good amount of time fanning the groom so he didn’t pass out) and it’s hard not to let that taint your perception. It should be said, though, that all the food I ate over the course of the weekend was amazing. We’re talking hundreds of spring rolls, some sort of rice porridge thing, whole roast pig (the skin is silly), fried fish, ginger lobster, roast duck, abalone with mustard greens and many, many more. Yay Asian food!
It was hellish but I did it because of the obvious. My best friend, whom I’ve known for 25 years, was getting married and he asked me to. I only put him through about 15 minutes of ceremony when I got married but who’s counting, right? The good news is we’re flying to Hawaii tomorrow for his “legal” marriage, so it’s not all bad. I know what you’re thinking – You just spent a week in California, how is it you’re going to Hawaii for a week? Well, grad school starts in a month and I’ll have class every Friday or Saturday for the 15 months that follow… so we won’t be traveling for awhile.
P.S. – Happy 08/08/08 everyone! Anyone excited about the Olympics? I’m not.