Mike (or Mike H as Mike C requested he be called), who I don’t think I’ve seen in the better part of two years, called on Friday to let me know he’d be driving through the area and to ask if we wanted to meet up. We’d just gotten back from AC and were mere hours away from a Caps game, but we managed to work something out. Since beer and food seem to be the only thing he and I ever talk about (how much else is there really?), it stands to reason that we met up for some serious grubbage. It wasn’t until after the fact that it computed we spent a grand total of 20 minutes hanging out.
At Mike’s suggestion, we met him at Ray’s Butcher Burgers or Ray’s Hell Burger as it’s better known. An offshoot of Ray’s the Steaks and located on Wilson Blvd in Arlington, Hell Burger is amazingly absent from the internet if you don’t count reviews. I actually didn’t know anything about it going in, which can make for a pretty significant scramble if you’ve only got 20 minutes to order, eat and get the hell out. What follows is my Hell Burger cheat sheet; I enjoyed my meal and will be going back.
- Take a few minutes to digest the menu. It’s fairly simple but I ordered based on suggestion because of the time crunch. I ended up with a burger that had a Post-It pad size slice of blue cheese and while I like the stuff, it was all I could taste. I’m convinced there are better combinations (I saw foie gras) that I just skimmed over. Note they ONLY sell burgers; no chicken sammiches here.
- 10oz really isn’t all that much when it’s high quality beef. You look at the thing and you’re convinced there’s no way you’re going to finish but when the meat is super tender, juicy and extremely delicious it’s surprisingly easy.
- Only order medium rare if you really like it bloody. My medium was perfect but a couple of the medium rares at our table looked more like rare to me. It will be super juicy no matter what, so eat over your plate.
- Be sure to eat it vertically (thumbs towards you, not down) or your bun will fall apart. A lot of the reviews I’ve read complained about the bun but if you eat it right, you won’t have any problems. I even managed to eat mine without cutting it in half.
- They don’t serve fries, which is probably for the better. They do have cheesey tater tots that were pretty good but the best side is by far the mac and cheese. For what it’s worth, the mac and cheese is enough to make a non-beef eater want to go back (ask me how I know).
- Don’t expect to have a beer while there, as they don’t serve alcohol. They do have Dominion Root Beer on tap though, which is decent substitute.
Ninja edit: On a related note, my sister just posted this picture of my niece. Not only did I not know Five Guys has locations in NJ, I also didn’t know they apparently have 300+ all over the eastern seaboard.
I’ve been three times so I’m an expert. The place has lost something… First visit, back in the early days when you got corn on the cob and watermelon, it was a surreal experience. The burgers were simply amazing. On the two visits since, the burgers have gotten worse and worse. I can’t pinpoint it, but those I have gone with have agreed.
I’ve had the bleu cheese burger as well. Never again… Agreed, it is all you can taste. The same goes for a lot of the burgers; I’m convinced that while the gourmet foo-foo burgers are nice and all, getting a plain old cheeseburger w/ lettuce, tomato, and onion is where it’s at.
I also like the fact you were within a mile or two of my house for maybe the 2nd time EVER and it took someone else’s invite to get you there.
I read the cob and melon were a summertime only thing.
Since you’ve never told me where you moved to, and even refused to tell me the last time I asked, I don’t feel bad. You’ve also never invited me to your house. So there.
Agreed, It was a delicous burger, but when I pulled about half the bleu off it was much better. I could actually taste the pepper and the meat. The few bites I had of the Mac which was the BigMac only awesome was much better, because you could actually taste everything. I think the lesser mike has a good point and just a basic cheeseburger may be the way to go.
Also 5 Guys has locations well beyond the Eastern Seaboard. You know places like California, Chicago, Wisconsin, Missouri etc etc etc etc. Its sort of huge now.
I've eaten at Rays Hell Burgers a couple times now. I don't know if I got a bad batch, but the Mac & Cheese sucked (bland) and the allure is over to smashing myself into a small area to wait for a table is not fun. Corn on the cob & watermelon were great alternatives; the last time I just got a pathetic slice of orange. I'm staying away for the foreseeable future, but plan on trying Good Stuff Eatery sometime.
re: Good Stuff Eatery
Spike was at a Caps game awhile back promoting GSE. I actually met him in the mens room before I realized why he was there but due to the location, did say much more than ‘hello’ and something about liking him on Top Chef.
It’s really pretty amazing what being on TV, even if you don’t win, can do for your career.
Sure…”met him in the men’s room” got it. 😉