Chris.Derecola

Not only a well known phrase, but one I’ve heard more than once recently. The interesting thing about the rest of the sentence is the person was more or less wrong about their assumption/assertion. Being a person who craves to recognize patterns, I started thinking about why the same basic conversation was happening over and over. A number of questions quickly came to my head – Was I that predictable before now? Why are people off the mark? Is my current lifestyle so different than where I was 3-5 years ago? Have I changed? Why? There’s a lot to answer there, so lets get started.

The short answer is yes, I was fairly predictable. I lived my life in a very measured, methodical way that was meant to maximize return on investment and minimize risk/exposure. For better or worse, I managed my life like I manage my money. I rarely did things “just because” and while my reasons were varied, I did what I could to maintain a certain level of controllable order. This rigidity, while sometimes an asset, can also lead to stress and monotony. In other words, efficient is not always fun.

These days, and especially recently, I feel as though I’m a different person. I still tend to be gruff and prone to mood swings, but I am also more prone to being open-minded and whimsical. Care for a comparison? Years ago, I got a going away card from my coworkers at AMS (I recently found it) that talked of a need to “go out more often.” These days, it’s not uncommon for us to go out a couple weeknights a month and be out of the house most of the weekend. In those days, all I wanted to do was sit at home and keep to myself. Now, I think I’m addicted to new experiences. Whether it be the places I go, the clothes I wear or the way I interact with people, I’m doing things that historically were not me. Melissa calls it “The New You” and while somewhat cliche, I think it’s fairly accurate.

So why the change? I’m sure there are a lot of things that go into it, but the simple answer is I’m just less uptight. Exercise and physical fitness helps; so does building meaningful relationships with those around you. Regardless the reasons, the end result is a version of me that is happier owning less while doing more. Rah rah sis boom bah! Now if only I can drop 20 more pounds…

This post was originally going to be about my lack of understanding (or approval, some may say) of the level of consumerism in this country. Today is one of those days where hundreds of people line up in hundreds of locations to buy something they probably don’t need and certainly don’t need to stand in line for. I could have made a big deal about it by saying such things as “this is why they hate us” or “this is why we’re in a recession” but in the end, why? Yes, I do believe those arguments are valid but why do I even care enough to make them? What has taken place in my life that has me wanting to play the role of a disapproving parent or the Thought Police?

The truth is, I often care entirely too much about what others are doing. I am so measured and calculated with my purchases and interests that I seriously have a hard time relating to buying/doing things “just because.” I rarely do things simply because it feels good; probably because I am a control freak and have this nagging fear of being irresponsible.  Maybe it comes from years of being called a spoiled brat. Maybe it comes from being told I need to take more responsibility for myself. Maybe it comes from trying to live up to the perceived high expectations of others. Regardless the reason, I could probably stand to relax and not be so aggravated all the time.

People are wired in different ways and what seems completely asinine to me may be what others happen to enjoy. They want to do it and seem to enjoy it, so who am I to judge them? One could argue that spending money on trips, race cars, motorcycles or any of the other myriad of things that I do aren’t a good use of my time/money. That would piss me off… so why is it okay for things to be the other way around? It really isn’t. We like what we like and we want what we want. Part of accepting people for who they are is understanding they won’t always like, want or think the same way you do. Energy is better spent learning what makes people who they are so you can better relate and ultimately, have a better relationship.